My final post on swimming, from last summer:
About
a month ago, I was writing about the foibles of learning to swim. And
after a particularly frustrating day, my aunt and uncle were concerned with the
fact that I wasn't being very positive through the process, or perhaps with
much of anything. A challenge was issued to be positive for 30
days. It being about that long since then, I thought I would see how
things have gone.
I'm going to start by being
realistic. I've been through a lot in the past month. Swim lessons
continued with mixed results, my schedule at work did not improve as I'd hoped
it would, Becca is having a little trouble adjusting to being away at school
all day, my faith groups are experiencing some transitions and a friend of mine
died suddenly. Woof. That's a lot to stomach, and the stress
catches up.
Now, for the positives. You
see, being positive does not just mean skating along all full of sunshine and
not living in the real world. You can try it, but it won't last long and
one tends to get a bit disenfranchised. So, what has happened to me that
is good?
I'm still
here. As in, alive, employed, and can pay my rent. As silly as it
sounds, this is never a guarantee and I am grateful for it. Thank you
Marty, Lori and Dad for these realizations.
Despite all turmoil
and crap floating around personally and socially, I still have my friends and
family around me... nudging me, berating me, supporting me, driving me
crazy. And I love you all dearly even on the days I want to wring your
necks. Thank you Grant, Teri, Ginny and many others who either drive me
to plot your demise or give me long distance hugs.
Through the help of said family and friends, I am coming up with a plan
to improve my health. And as of tonight getting dressed for work, the
belt came out one notch: progress! The weight is slowly coming
back. I don't feel as exhausted either, but that will take time to
improve. Thank you Robbyn and Randy for helping with nutrition and
the death of caffeine.
That's the other thing
I am gaining: patience. Becca won't get used to missing us right away,
but it will come. Health doesn't fix itself overnight. My boss
can't change certain things until other things change for him (hell, the new
desk they ordered for us last year will finally be here NEXT WEEK). No
one can pull miracles out of their ass, and part of being positive is looking
at what is possible and being optimistic about what can come of it, instead of
expecting the impossible and then being let down when it doesn't come.
And then work like hell toward that realistic goal. Thank you Jason and
Tom for being an example of going after what I want, or rather, what I deserve.
That's not to say
I can't have dreams, but one step at a time for now. Get my health
and personal schedule back on track. Help Becca. Get the half done
paperwork taken care of so that hopefully by year's end I can focus on whether
this job is really right for me and what I can do about it. And for right
now, eat my roast beef sandwich and take care of my facility come
morning. Take a deep breath, and be positive about the things I know I am
good at.
And in another 30
days, see how things look then.
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