Part three of last summer's adventures:
Okay, swim lesson
number three. I found Becca's little tub toy of Pooh bear in a swim vest,
and I told her he was going to help her swim today. She was excited and
my teacher was a little confused until we got to the pool and I tossed Pooh in
the deep end and said "Go get Pooh!"
No fear, no problems,
no hesitation, she ran to the ladder (as Sam told her not to run) shouting
"Pooh! I'm coming, Pooh!" She got in and began her 'swim
like a frog' breaststroke right over to Pooh. And so it went. Time
to focus on me. As Becca and Pooh came to get me.
I decided it was time
to go under without being next to the wall, that the vest would wait until I
was better about the water in general. Okay, the only problem was there
were a lot more people at the pool this time. I tried to stay away from
most people and just focus on forms...
Tien gunn. Not
people. Just one arm then the other, back and forth, no people.
Then a bunch of kids who were jumping in and screwing around got too close and
one of them backhanded me in the head (it felt like he kicked me). Not
hard, and he didn't knock me over, but they were the ones I'd been trying to
block out, and I absolutely blew up at them. Not good.
So I calmed down
slightly and apologized and told them what was going on. That I was
scared, just like they were a few summers ago when they were learning (for one
8 year old, I happen to know it was last summer). They were quiet, and
looked kind of thoughtful. Then one boy said he thought all grown ups
could swim. I told them no, some never learned, but I was learning so
Becca could be safe. They all know Becca, so this made sense to
them.
Then Becca began
saying "You can do it, Mama!" again, and one of the girls said
"Hey, hear that? Becca thinks you can do it." And my
teacher gave me a look which said I'd put it off long enough. I either
needed to go back to the wall or go under where I was. And I didn't want
to use the wall.
Or go under at
all. I'd had a bad dream the night before and just wasn't feeling it, but
this wasn't about what I was feeling. It was about my little
Pooh-rescuer. Right. Great. Deep breaths, concentrate on how
long it takes to breathe out. I hear one kid quietly getting chewed out
by his older sister for hitting me in the head. I can't do this.
Another is telling Becca to go get Pooh again. She says she's waiting for
me. Sighing... okay, okay, let's do this.
Oh God, I really hate
this. And breathing out underwater has the added disadvantage of
loosening my goggles, so I am now getting water in my eyes as well. But
that seemed to be my major concern upon resurfacing, and my teacher is quite
excited that I did it away from the wall. So, now I need to do it
again. Come on, really? Yes, he says, only no goggles. No, I
want to keep them on. The distraction of my eyes might actually help...
He says this is weird,
and I ask when he started thinking of me as normal. Agreed. So here
I go under again.
I hate it just as
much, but when I come up, I am not coughing at all. I am more concerned
with emptying my goggles... wait a minute. Not coughing at all. Not
even once this time. I am making progress!
So, I get to visit a
friend with a shallower pool on Thursday, so I might get to try kneeling in the
water or even sitting, and in a shallow pool the water always gets
warmer. I am optimistic. I am getting better.
Rob was right. I
am swimming!
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